Bumped

It's official - I totally look pregnant :)

Danny and I took this picture in Riverdale and then I hopped on a plan to Pittsburgh, where I think I somehow doubled in size. This is the time of the pregnancy where you gain about a pound a week. Seems a bit much, unless you figure I gained about 9 pounds in the last 6 weeks.

It's okay. I'm still (thanks to the flu in week 11/12) on track to gain around 25-30 pounds, so I feel okay about everything.

I also did yoga twice last week a pilates once and even went on a few walks, so I'm feeling more active and energized. I'm still pretty hungry a lot of the time, but I'm also trying not to eat until I'm sick (much easier now that I have a kitchen here in Pittsburgh and I'll hopefully have one back in Riverdale!)

Off to get a snack and do yoga!

Hypnobirthing and the Birthing Center

Danny and I went to our first hypnobirthing class last week. I really liked the teacher and I really liked the philosophy of a relaxed and calm birth. I, like I think most people, have my doubts about a comfortable birth, but I also think it doesn't hurt to try. And if works? Well, it sounds amazing.

I've really struggled with how to attempt to prepare for the birth of XY, how to wrap my head around that day (or days!), what to expect, how to possibly not expect anything...and all of this, like, much of this pregnancy, has been hard. I know that the most important thing is to birth a healthy baby, but I haven't been sure how to go about doing that. And I haven't felt 100% comfortable with our OB and choice to have a hospital birth.

I'm lucky in that I've heard lots and lots of stories from my friends and family about their births and have decided that I really don't want this to be about me and my "plan." It just seems to set people up for great disappointment and that's the last thing I want to feel - like I let myself or XY or Danny or women everywhere down.

Instead I would like to create the most ideal situation for the most ideal birth and then hope and pray for a happy and healthy baby...and accept how we get there.

Hynobirthing seems to aspire to that same goal.

So, after lots of angst and meetings and calls with OBs and midwives and doulas and, my favorite companion in all of this - my sleepless middle of the night self - Danny and I have decided to join a midwifery practice and bring XY into the world at the St Luke's Birthing Center.

It seems ideal - calm, private rooms, birthing tubs, minimal intervention - but only one floor away from the labor & delivery ward and the pediatric ward and the NICU.

We will most likely hire our hypnobirthing coach to be our doula - she's also a massage therapist and has been at over 100 births - who can come to our home when the labor begins, and come with us to the Birthing Center. I feel strongly that Danny and I will want some guidance and reassurance throughout this experience and I want both of us to feel supported and...well, protected, in a way.

I'm hopeful and most importantly, I'm feeling less anxious having made these decisions to care for ourselves and approach things calmly than I have for the last 5 months.

Right now I'm reading a chapter on "falling in love with you baby" and it's interesting because hypnobirthing suggests that you really bond/connect/read to/sing to/fall in love with your unborn baby to help ease the transition/welcome him/her into the world/get'em ready and willing to come out...and I'm excited to "go there" - to love, to feel, to accept that this is really happening.

A few gems from what I've been reading:
"a woman births pretty much the same way that she lives her life"
"if you listen to affirmations of positive, gentle birth on a daily basis, it will contribute to positive conditioning"
"I came to hypnobirthing to learn how to have a baby, and I learned how to have a life"

Amira's baby shower!

Amira came to NY this weekend to visit and celebrate the pending birth of her daughter, Ramona. Ramona is due two months before "XY" and I'm happy to report their first play date went well.

Bump Check!

Here we go - I weigh in this week - but it's getting pretty impressive.

Knowing is more than half the battle - and everything is fine

To amnio or not to amnio.

This seemed to be the question plaguing Danny and I much of the pregnancy. My doctor took a good approach - which was to screen, screen, screen and if all of the numbers came back great, then skip the discomfort and potential risks of having an amnio. Well, our numbers were great - and after some crying and internet research (all too often linked), we opted not to get the amnio. (I was really scared of hurting the fetus and Danny was really scared of not knowing for sure everything was going okay)

But then, week 20-21, we had the anatomy screening and they found an "ecogenic focus." A little white dot on the heart of what we learned that day was "XY." This is a soft marker for down's and from what I read, it's statistically insignificant if it's the only soft marker...for women under 35. For women over 35, there's not much data, so a factor of 2 is sometimes used to increase risk levels, while others say it's 1 in 400.

This brought us to about a 1 in 400-470 chance of having a chromosomal abnormality (trisomy 21)...literally a 99.8% chance that everything was okay and about a 1 in 400-1600 chance of something going wrong in the amnio.

Once again, we were playing a game of very rough statistics, fear, uncertainty and gut instinct. I cried a lot that first night.

Then, I got myself in check, realized that I just needed to be calm, met with a genetic counselor, did the amnio, and found out today that everything is fine. That XY is perfectly healthy.

I know that a lot of this angst and dealing with uncertainty is "good practice for parenting" but I also think that there's a way to approach a "perfectly healthy pregnancy" with a lot less angst - and I'm going to figure out how.

Maybe a good idea for a book.

Pics of "XY"

We decided to nick-name the fetus "XY" to avoid calling him "the fetus." Not sure this is his best angle...but look at that spine! And the little hand in the background. Go XY!

It's a boy!

So, Aunt Lois went with me to the anatomy screening because Danny had to work (it was his first day back from winter break). We tried to sneak in a video camera, but were caught and decided to stay on the technician's good side so we behaved.

The fetus moved around a lot less than at the NT screening, but it was still moving around a bit and the heart beat sounded great (it's still such a relief to hear it!). We saw 10 fingers and 10 toes, the four chambered heart, the kidneys functioning, the brain, etc... When we got to the "sex" organs, I closed my eyes and technician wrote it down so Danny and I could open it when we were together.

Of course, as soon as I called Danny - right there in the examining room - he asked me to open it up - and -it's a boy.

Pictures coming soon (not of the wenis!) - and be prepared - it's totally Danny's nose...and my lack of chin. Poor kid...

Bump!!!!

So, it's official, we are half way there! 20 weeks pregnant this week and in just a few days we find out the sex. I have to say, I really don't feel strongly that it's a boy or a girl. At the NT ultrasound it looked a lot like a boy - but I think that's because it was bald. And acting up! My OB thinks it's a girl. And I just want happy and healthy.

Meanwhile, check out the bump - oh yeah!!!! The bump officially surpasses the boobs!

Although I feel like I'm eating like a horse and looking more and more like a cow, apparently, I'm right on schedule with the weight gain. I'm up about 7 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, and 10 pounds up from my post-swine flu weight, and they say I should be right about at 10 if I'm course to gain about 30 pounds (healthy for my BMI).

Stay tuned.